I've only myself to blame...

 I was clearing out my kitchen cupboards and I came across a bag of "about-to-go-out-of-date" nuts. There are some swallows nesting in the eves of my house. Despite the fact that I HATE birds, I threw out the nuts onto my patio to help the new parents and their offspring.

BIG MISTAKE.

One solitary crow descended to scoff up a walnut and within seconds there was a murder outside my door.

Seeing them at such close range made me feel nauseous. I had to leave the kitchen until they were finished.

I came back when they were gone and set about getting lunch.

Suddenly I heard a tap-tap-tap on the patio door. I turned around to see......a feckin' MAGPIE.

Honestly, this brazen bird obviously arrived too late to the party and was knocking at my door to see if I had any more food to give him.

See I'm right. Birds are devious and are ready to attack us!