I was
jolted awake at five in the morning by a rustling noise. Half asleep, I told
myself it was just Storm Claudia lashing rain against the window. Still, my
nerves were jangling, so I switched on the light, pulled on my trusty eye mask,
and drifted back into a fragile sleep.
Not for
long.
Another
sound woke me and I lifted the edge of my mask for a quick peek — just in time
to see a mouse disappearing… UNDER THE PILLOW BESIDE ME.
Yes. You
read that right.
A mouse.
In. My. Bed.
I let out
a scream that could have powered the national grid. If he didn’t die of a heart
attack, I certainly nearly did.
Panic
mode activated, I grabbed a spare pillow and duvet and relocated to the sitting
room. I cocooned myself on the couch, put on Sullivan’s Crossing in an
effort to calm my nerves… and then watched in horror as another mouse
scurried across by the fireplace.
For a
second I genuinely thought I was hallucinating from trauma, but no — this one
was real too.
Thankfully,
I had mouse traps in the house. I set them up with peanut butter — because if
they’re going to the big cheese wheel in the sky, they may as well have a
decent last meal.
Then came
Nightmare No. 2: the dentist.
A root canal repair.
Let me
tell you, the only thing worse than having a root canal done… is having
an old one removed and replaced. Two parts, plenty of drilling, and a dentist
who told me to “go home and relax.”
Relax??
In a house that has suddenly become the set of Ratatouille 2: The Horror
Edition? Absolutely not.
But
several hours later, I was home, blissfully pain-free… and two mice down. Small
victories.
Please,
pray for me tonight.
And I bet
you’re now thinking your own Friday wasn’t that bad after all.
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